Many Africans living in the United States have difficulty finding a suitable mate. African and black American dating are two very different things. There are different value systems, cultures, and beliefs.
Not being aware of the differences can ruin a relationship. Long gone are the days of meeting people in bars. The Internet has made it possible to meet people who share the same interest. Many people find their king or queen on African dating sites.
African and Black American Men are Quite Different
Have you ever dated a black man who was not from the United States? If you have, then you may have noticed some stark differences between black men born in Africa and black men born in the United States. Like most continents, Africa has many different countries and cultures. Although each country is different, family and education are very important to most African people.
African men believe in courting their women. Most believe a woman should not pay for a date. This does not mean African men do not like strong independent women, because they do. They just also believe that a lady should be treated like a lady on a date. African men expect women to cook, clean, and be educated.
African men highly value education. Most get advanced degrees. Most African men look down on the urban American culture of hip-hop. They want a woman who is interested in global events and self-improvement. Women who mimic urban American culture are a turnoff to educated African men.
Although family is important to African men, they do not all believe in monogamy. Having more than one wife is common in some African countries. This is unacceptable to most American women. It is important that you ask the man you are dating if he believes in polygamy. You should talk about the issue on the first date. You should not ask in a condescending way, it is best to ask the question out of curiosity. If he believes in polygamy, you may want to reconsider starting a relationship with him.
For some women dating a man with another family in Africa is not an issue for them, Some women justify continuing to date him by saying that several men born in the United States have multiple families that they do not support, and that at least African men support their families. However, most women want their African man to be a one-woman man.
You may or may not meet his parents right away. Some countries teach their men to only introduce a women when he is ready to marry her. You should find out how he feels about this issue before you start a relationship with him. If you do not like the idea of being an unknown person to his family for months or years, you may want to end the relationship, before your heart gets broken. If you do get married, you should prepare to be around his family a lot. Africans are very close to their family.
Where will you live?
Does he plan on moving back to his home country? If he is, you should decide in the beginning of your relationship if you are willing to relocate to Africa. If you are willing to relocate to his home country, then the two of you should plan a vacation there before you get married. You might feel like you have found a new home, or the culture differences might shock you back to the United States. Either way it is best to visit before you accept his marriage proposal, and start your new life together.